How to unf**k your life (Reset your life in 7 days)

“Clarity precedes success.” — Robin Sharma

I’ve been stuck more times than I care to admit.

Not in a dramatic way, just quietly stuck. Numb.

Going through the motions, knowing something’s off, but not sure what to fix.

Every time, I’ve come back to this same simple framework to reset. That’s what I’m about to share with you.

Lately, my mission has been to shrink the gap between clarity and chaos. To stay grounded through discipline, even when life tries to pull me off track. It’s not perfect. I still slip. But I’m learning to refine faster. And every time I figure something out, I write it down. Like this.

So if your life feels scrambled right now,

If you wake up with no real sense of direction,

Or worse, there is a direction, but deep down it feels hollow,

Then keep reading. This might be the reset you’ve been needing

Your Mind Craves Order

It does and when it doesn’t get it, it shuts down or self-destructs.

If you’ve been feeling stuck lately, like you’re floating through life with no grip, this is probably why.

To fix a problem, you have to understand it.

You don’t just cut the leaves. You go for the root.

And the root of your confusion?

Your mind has no clear structure to latch onto.

Let’s take a quick walk through biology for a second.

As humans, we’ve evolved to do one thing above all else: stay alive.

Coded into our DNA is the constant need to survive.

And to survive, we need four things:

• Food, so we don’t starve

• Clothing, so we don’t freeze

• Shelter, so we don’t get hunted

• Procreation, so our genes live on

These are hardwired.

You don’t wake up thinking “I need to survive today.” Your body just knows.

And every time you do something that moves you closer to those needs?

Your brain rewards you with dopamine. That chemical hit that says, “Yes, more of this.”

Now here’s where it gets tricky:

Your brain doesn’t care how you get that dopamine.

Just that you get it.

So whether it’s building something meaningful…

or doom-scrolling for 3 hours…

Same dopamine. Different outcomes.

That’s why you can feel “busy” but still be stuck.

The point is:

The Brain is a prediction engine

Your brain is like a supercomputer.

It takes in information, connects it to prior knowledge, finds patterns and filters it all through your goals to decide what to do next.

And the one thing every next step requires is energy.

So that’s what your brain is constantly predicting:

How much energy will it take to act? And is it worth it?

Survival is still our #1 filter even if we’re not dodging predators anymore.

That’s why your brain lights up when you see someone attractive.

That’s why you feel triggered when your security or status is threatened.

Everything is being evaluated through the lens of survival.

Which means the goal you’re focused on is what shapes the world you see.

This is the operating system behind how your mind works:

• You need a goal

• You need relevant knowledge

• You need to act

No goal? No clear roadmap.

No clear roadmap? No action.

No action? You feel stuck.

Consciousness Is A Finite Resource

If your brain is the engine, consciousness is the fuel.

And like your phone battery, it drains whether you're actively using it or not.

There are always background apps running. Thoughts you didn’t finish. Decisions you’re avoiding. Ideas you bookmarked but never implemented.

Now layer in fear and it drains even faster.

Fear is your mind sounding the alarm: “This is unfamiliar. This might kill us. Be careful.”

Except in today’s world, we’re not dodging lions.

We’re dodging judgment, failure, rejection, shame, not living up to expectations.

Fear doesn’t know the difference.

It just triggers the same response: shut down, overthink, hesitate.

It clouds your decisions.

It eats your energy.

It locks you in place.

Mark Manson calls this the Feedback Loop from Hell:

You're scared, so you stall. Then you feel guilty for stalling. Which makes you feel worse. So you stall more and on and on it goes

Fear + mental overload equals no movement.

And that brings us to the next problem.

You Know Too Much, But Do Too Little

This generation has unlimited access to knowledge and it’s quietly wrecking us.

You’ve probably read enough advice to write your own self-help book.

You’ve watched the productivity reels, saved the morning routines, followed the thought leaders...

But most of it just sits there. Unused.

Unused knowledge turns into noise.

Noise turns into confusion.

Confusion kills clarity and again, your mind shuts down.

What you need is balance.

The sweet spot is not knowing more. It’s doing more with what you already know.

Information becomes wisdom only when it's acted upon.

You’re Living a Life That Was Assigned to You

And maybe this is the real issue.

Maybe you’re not just overwhelmed.

Maybe you’re on the wrong path entirely.

A path handed to you, not chosen by you.

The one your parents expected.

The one society applauds.

The one Instagram sold you.

And you wonder why you can’t stay motivated?

Motivation isn’t magic. It’s a formula:

It comprises of

• A goal that excites you

• A drive that pulls you forward

• The grit to push when things get hard

If the goal doesn’t come from you, the drive won’t show up.

And without drive, you won’t stick around long enough to build grit.

That’s why you keep quitting.

That’s why you burn out on things you thought would “change everything.”

That’s why you're stuck.

But there is a fix. With it you:

• You stop guessing.

• You start simplifying.

• You give your mind what it’s been craving all along: structure.

I call this the Clarity Compass.

How To Unf**k Your Life.

At this point it would be wise to take out a piece of paper follow through as i break down this process step by step. You are already clear on why you feel stuck and lack clarity now it is time to get clear on how to fix the situation.

Step 1: Define Your Motivations

Motivation is a mixture of drive, grit and goals. Drive is the emotional motivators such as curiosity, passion and purpose. Goals is where we are going and grit is what we think motivation is the determination to keep going but it is only a part of motivation.

For this exercise we need to focus only on Drive and Goals, Grit is important but needs to be studied on its own more in depth, hopefully in future letters.

For this purpose think of drive and goals as two things.

• The things you want out of life. (your vision)

• The things you do not want out of life. (your anti vision)

When done right, this becomes your personal North Star.

Here’s mine as a reference (feel free to model yours on it):

Step 2: Reverse engineer your goals

You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems - James clear

Big goals with no clear next step = confusion.

Break them down:

• What would achieving this look like in a month?

• What does that look like in a week?

• What action can you take today that contributes to it?

Clarity lives in simplicity. And small steps done often beat big plans never done.

Step 3: Develop your system

Habits are the bricks.

Systems are the structure.

Together, they build the life you want.

Once you’ve got your goals and motivations clear, it’s time to list the daily actions that, stacked over time, move you forward.

That’s where the Clarity Compass comes in — a free, plug-and-play template to help you map all of this out and stay grounded when life gets noisy.

​Click here to get the Clarity Compass for free.​

That’s it for today.

Start slow. Move steady.

And when in doubt, come back to the Compass.

—Tolu